(no subject)

Never in my life have I had such issues with mosquitoes as I've had this summer.

I'm covered in mosquito bites. They last three or four days on me, and I've got over ten. Moving on the bicycle is okay, since I can bike faster than a mosquito can fly, but when I stop for traffic, or to get back inside the house, I quickly become a mobile buffet for vampires*.

As I bike in the mornings, sometimes my body has not gotten the memo that it needs to be active and I yawn a lot. While biking. Yeah, weird. So I'll stop at the water fountain to get a drink. I did that this morning and looked down to the scene of a horror movie.

My legs were surrounded by a fuzzy black aura, there were so many mosquitoes jockeying for position. If this image has not been used in a B-movie I will be shocked, shocked I tell you. I slapped them away and ran as fast as I could, fumbling to get on my bike and outpace my pursuers.

It's been so bad I actually dreamed about bug bites, possibly because I have the most super itchy one on my chin. I was in an extraordinarily messy room in my new apartment (yes, bug problems and housing anxiety, this dream was a twofer!) where this large insect was trying to land on me. I, of course, smashed it, but couldn't fathom what sort of beast it was. It had a beautiful sky blue coloration, with brown stripes through the eyes and down its body. I had to go look it up on the internet and discovered that it was a hinitorixis, colloquially known as the cunty cuss, and they're venomous.

Th cunty cuss was all I could think about while trying to escape the mosquitoes this morning.

*I don't understand why people find vampires sexy, maybe they have not had enough blood sucked out of them to know how unsexy it is, have you looked at well-fed ticks recently? Yeuck. I understand that the vampire is actually a symbol of the perversion of female desire, since when she dares desire something a monster comes along and punishes her for it, but... seriously society, did you have to pick bipedal, undead mosquitoes to have naughty thoughts about?