Blurbs never tell you anything you want to know

I have basic cable at home, so I find something to watch by sweeping through the channels. I went to my grandparents' house over the weekend (because of a storm that was a total non-event) and they have DirecTV, where I get to see blurbs for episodes! It is kind of helpful!

And I realized that blurbs tell me nothing. If I haven't already seen the episode/movie, I wouldn't know why I should want to watch it. Like, this week's synopsis for Lost Girl is: The Ash reacts to the threat facing him, and Bo makes a life-threatening choice as those close to her suffer terrible injuries. (From here).

Wow. Mortal peril. Again! I didn't see that coming. It's not like people are hurt and have their lives threatened every week.

And this is why I only ever see stuff thanks to fandom buzz, these days. That's the only way to know if anything actually interesting is happening. I've gotten really used to "you want to watch this show. The basic premise is the super adorable protagonist is hunting demons which are also adorable and the friend's circle is fleshed out and charming." It's the only useful barometer to know if there's anything worthwhile going on. When it comes to being sold on something, which as you can see has absolutely nothing to do with the mortal peril. When you're hip-deep in genre like I am, it's always mortal peril. The mortal peril is just a given. It's as much of a trope as plucky heroines and world-weary heroes. You gotta give me something neat about the setting or the characters for me to care!

These descriptions may as well be "we're not going to tell you any of the interesting stuff that happens in the show that may entice you to watch." I've noticed the same thing in comics, but I figure that's just... y'know. Comics. "Wolverine beats people up" is apparently all comics fans need to know. But movie blurbs are the same way! "Attractive twenty-somethings must fight a dark horror that threatens the planet." ....Okay? This is supposed to interest me, how?

I can't think of anything that's ever sold itself to me on the basis of "and then there's peril." Unless it's fascinating peril like "young woman enters the mafia-run world of high-end lingerie design and must defeat them with the magical ruffle-gun she hides in her brassiere" but the official blurb would be "fashionista faces mortal peril, can she stand against the dark forces closing in on her life?" so meh.