(no subject)

Last Wednesday, my car got smashed up--I don't want to talk about it online too much but suffice it to say, I am in one piece, my car is in one considerably smaller piece than when it set out that morning, and I am awaiting news from the body shop/the other driver's insurance.

To pass the time I've been researching potential replacements.* My car is 12 years old, yet in spite of the law that says the insurer has to put me in the position I'd been in if my car hadn't been hit, they only have to give me the Kelly Blue Book value. If I wanted to buy a used 2002 model, for the blue book value I'd get a car with double my car's mileage.

It's a good car. I don't want to replace it. But it's a 2002 and it could have some extremely expensive damage that eclipses its value, we don't know yet. It's such a good car that car people usually remark on it. e.g., the tow truck driver said "That's a great car. I had one, a really great car." "It was my first car." "One of my favorite cars," he added, rather wistfully.

I bought it during the few years where luxury car brands were trying to entice younger markets, so they made kinda sporty low-end models. None of them do that anymore, but it turns out that no one is making sports coupes anything like my car (two-door, non-fug, with some room inside). Hell, "two door" seems to be disappearing entirely and replaced by boring sedan. No I don't want a sedan with a secretly sporty ride, I don't want a sedan at all, do I look like a sedan-driver to you? I wrote off entire car brands because they don't have anything at all what I'm in the market for, and I don't think I'm a particularly unusual market.

Imagine my surprise as I look at the market and I don't see anything I actually want for less than $50,000. It's not like I want a luxury car, my needs are simple:

1. Safe! This is especially important as I looked at the damage done to my car. Sure it was a low-end Mercedes sports coupe but it was still a Mercedes and all that implies. It was much smaller than the car that hit me, but it's still a fuckin' tank and if the seatbelt hadn't gone off, I probably could've driven it to the body shop after clearing up the broken glass. This whole "safe" thing writes off about 90% of the small cars I thought I'd be looking at.

2. Sporty! I spent 12 years driving a sports coupe. My experience driving other vehicles tells me that I require a sporty drive--I don't know entirely what this means except that it's more responsive, has more feedback as a driver,** better suspension, and very importantly: bucket seats. When you're as short as I am, you want short seats, too.

3. Good looks! Where do I even begin with how great my car looked vs. the lackluster field right now? This car, in this color blows all the competition away on sheer aesthetic value, particularly if you're looking for a two-door hatchback with lots of space (which this car had in spades, to the endless surprise of everyone). The only car that looks half as decent is the Honda CR-Z, which is maybe half the size of my car on the inside.

In fact, after some research I found that I can get sporty or I can get good-looking and never the twain shall meet. Though amusingly one of the articles I looked at was a list of 10 cars under 25k guaranteed to get you laid and I'd written off a lot of the list as lamesauce already. I am not sure what this says about me as the subject the car-buyer is attempting to lay, but... there you go.

Hatchbacks have mostly re-evolved into station wagons with altered lines. I cannot say PASS fast or loud enough to that. (That said, the Veloster Turbo is tentatively on my list because it's got the best mileage I've seen and it doesn't look quite so station wagon-y).

One of the cars that keeps coming up is the Golf GTI which... have you seen that thing? Even when it's cool, it's an uggo.

I also keep coming back to the retro muscle cars. My sister's had two Mustangs, and they look good, but over the past few years the body appears to have been... I don't know, melting into a car-blob. The 2014 is better than it was but for some reason the 2015 is melting again. That grill! It's so droopy and sad! I like the look of the Challenger and the Camaro, but I am not sure I'm in the market for an actual sports car. Driving the Camaro felt a little like being in a submarine (and I didn't get to see how feisty it was because the dealer pressed me about the color and ignored my "v6, please" and took me down winding side streets instead of somewhere I could nominally open it up). Perhaps I'm still bummed dad sold his '91 z28.

Then I think of the mileage and sigh to myself. My car is from 2002 and it got better mileage. We're in the future! Improve this! (I know, I know, no comparison. Still. SIGH.)

I spend a lot of time looking at cars but now I'm really looking. Both online and from my window: I live above a busy intersection where I see all sorts of cars, and I've realized that most vehicles on offer now are converging, stylistically, into some uberauto of pedestrian dullness. The lines are all the same! The colors are all muted! BLAAAAAAH.

*When I first got my car--my first car--I didn't imagine I'd be that person that wanted to hold onto their car forever. I'm easily bored! I want new, cute things! Nope: I'd drive this car forever if I could. It is my platonic ideal of cars, doing everything I need and being fun to drive.

**One possibility, my grandfather suggested I take his car and he buy a new one. I've driven it enough to know that it has the same problem as a lot of other non-sport cars I've tried: it floats along. My car tells me exactly what I'm doing and how I'm doing it--rolling into turns, accelerating, decelerating, etc. I'm sure I'd get used to this but I'm not a fan.